![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brighteyedjillMaster Post
Title: We Have Loved the Stars Too Fondly to be Fearful of the Night
Art: by
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
wheres_walnut is hereFanmix by
snarkyrainbow is hereCharacters/Pairings: McCoy/Chekov, Chekov/others mentioned, plus ensemble cast
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slavery, non- and dub-con, violence (but no explicit torture), emotional abuse, but none of it inflicted by the good guys. Also, explicit sex.
Word count: 57,000
Authors Notes: Thanks to
redandglenda for catching my mistakes, vellum for not letting me get away with anything, and jaune_chat for everything always.Title quotation from The Old Astronomer to His Pupil by Sarah Williams. Written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif){kind=small}
startrekbigbangSummary: More than anyone else on the Enterprise, Leonard McCoy knows that space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence. As much as he’s seen in the two years since the Narada incident, he’s not prepared when a simple mission ends in the disappearance of a crewmember. The crew must adjust to the idea that one of their own may never come home.
Chapter Links
Author's Notes
Deleted/Alternate Scenes
Sequel Information
Chapters
Part One
Part Two(a)
Part Two(b)
Part Three(a)
Part Three(b)
Part Four(a)
Part Four(b)
Part Four(c)
Author's Notes
It's no secret that I love tropes, angst, and roughing up the most vulnerable character in every fandom. Chekov is too much damn fun to rough up, and once I got the idea in my twisted little brain that Chekov should be a sex slave, things just ran away with me. This fic has grown tremendously both in length and breadth since its inception, and it certainly owes a great debt to my betas:
jaune_chat listened to me bitch ad nauseum, vellum pointed out things that I should really be able to do better, and redandglenda made sure my capitalization made sense. I'm very proud of where this story has ended up. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing. If you've taken the time to read all the way to the end, will you please take a minute to leave a comment and let me know what you thought? I don't get paid, after all, and it's nice to know when my work has been seen.Deleted and Alternate Scenes
My stories tend to grow like a garden rather than be built like a tower. This means things I wrote for one section end up not being exactly what I want to say by the time the rest of the story catches up. So here are a few things I wrote that ended up on the cutting room floor.
Cut scene: Part One - Kirk visits Spock
This scene provided more context to Kirk's efforts to find Chekov. I liked the new information it provided about the Usites, but it interfered with the pacing, so we had to lose it.
--
Spock had taken four minutes more than average to achieve a meditative state. The distraction that nagged at him came not from inner conflict, but from an emotional reaction to recent events that he had yet to bring fully under the control of his logic. Ensign Chekov’s disappearance presented a conundrum: logic could not reveal where the missing man had gone, nor how to bring him back. Intuition offered the only chance to solve this puzzle, and if Spock could bring himself to trust the intuition of any human, that human would be James T. Kirk. Unfortunately, the captain seemed to be as frustrated as Spock with their lack of progress.
The ring of the door chime tipped Spock out of his reverie too easily. He rose from his mat in the corner to receive his visitor. “Come in.”
Jim Kirk stuck his head in the doorway, almost tentative. “Do you have a minute, Spock?”
“Yes sir.” He crossed his hands behind his back and prepared to receive whatever news the captain had come to deliver. Kirk wandered further into the room, letting the doors close behind him.
“I got a report today from Captain Frrhaan.”
“I was unaware that you were in contact with Captain Frrhaan. Is he still on the USS Endimon?”
“Yeah. They were over in the Altair system when Chekov disappeared, so I asked them to keep an eye out for any news.”
“A sound tactic. What was the nature of his report?”
“They’ve heard rumors from local law enforcement that an unidentified Usite ship has been sighted in the area.”
“Interesting.”
“What do you know about the Usites?”
“They are a technologically competent space-facing race currently under consideration for Federation membership. They are also highly sensitive telepaths.”
“What does that mean, exactly?”
“Their abilities extend beyond conventional methods of telepathy to include control of memory and, some say, mastery of the unconscious mind. As Usia is a great distance away, their presence here would be worthy of note.”
“They’re just rumors. That’s all anyone can give me. Rumors.” Kirk threw himself into the chair next to Spock’s desk. “No solid leads. Not even a decent theory. For all I can tell, Chekov might have decided to join up with space pirates.”
“I believe you are--.”
“Grasping at straws. I know.”
“I was going to say looking too hard for an answer where none is likely to be found.”
“That’s what grasping at straws means.”
“Of course.”
“It’s been five days, Spock.”
“The increase in time elapsed is inversely proportional to the likelihood of finding the ensign. However, I am unable to formulate a better plan than our current one,” he offered regretfully.
“Yeah. Same here.”
Kirk’s uncharacteristic silence prompted Spock to examine his captain more closely. Kirk slumped in his chair, more exhausted than he ever looked even after enduring physical altercations on an away mission. “Captain. You have followed all logical steps to recover Ensign Chekov. There is nothing more to be done.”
“Maybe.”
“Would you care to join me in meditation, Captain?”
“No. No, I’ll take a walk. Thanks. If you think of anything…”
“Yes.”
Kirk wandered out as listlessly as he’d wandered in. Though Spock returned to the corner to meditate, he found himself unable to focus for a long time.
--
Cut scene: Part Two - Bones calls Uhura
This originally went at the end of Part Two, but we didn't need it, so it was cut for pacing. I did like having another interaction with Uhura, who is really integral to all the communication that was going on within this sequence, and showing Bones's decision not to announce Chekov's return to one and all. Sill, we didn't need it, so out it went.
--
“Doctor McCoy, this is the Enterprise.” Uhura’s brisk and level tone had never sounded more welcome. “We’ve entered orbit around Bussar. What is your status?”
“I’ve got two to beam up, Lieutenant,” McCoy answered gratefully. Even the short wait he’d endured had seemed interminable with nothing to do but contemplate Chekov’s still form.
“Is the Captain with you?”
“No. They’ve gotten themselves into some kind of scrape. If Jim’s communicator is still working, you may be able to get a lock on their signal. Spock’s with him.”
“Thank you Doctor. Two to beam up, you said?” The question was clear.
“Yes. Me and…” McCoy couldn’t say exactly why he didn’t want to break the news to Uhura, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her who he was with. “A refugee.”
“Stand by for transport. Enterprise out.”
--
Alternate scene: Part Four - Trenach confronts Kirk in sick bay
So originally Trenach comes to both Kirk when he's recovering in sick bay after the Usite attack. I liked the interactions here, but I wanted a chance to get Chekov to the bridge and for Kirk to face off with Trenach from his "throne room" so to speak, so to the bridge they went. And I know the Firefly reference is out of place. I like it anyway. But I was sad to lose the line about hyposprays.
--
A commotion arose at the door to sickbay. Chapel’s voice echoed back past the partition. “They’re resting, I tell you.”
“This is urgent business.” An unfamiliar man in a red uniform appeared in the entryway. His brisk manner and terse way of speaking sent Pasha immediately on edge. Fortunately, he zeroed in on Kirk and didn’t seem to notice Pasha at McCoy’s bedside. “Captain. I’d like a briefing on how we lost contact with the Usite ship.”
“And I’d like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat. I’m sure Commander Spock’s preparing a briefing as we speak. Why don’t we go up to the briefing room, and--.”
“I’d like the doctor to join us.”
“The doctor is recovering from an injury sustained in our recent encounter with the Usites.”
“The doctor may have information pertinent to our investigation.”
“The doctor is right here. I’ll go to your damn briefing, just give me a minute to get on my feet.”
“Do you want me to go with you, sir?” Pasha asked impulsively. When Trenach’s attention swung to him, he regretted having spoken.
“Are you Chekov?”
“Yes sir,” he said warily.
“You’re not a Star Fleet officer, so you won’t be able to attend a classified briefing. In fact, are you even authorized to be in here? McCoy, you don’t know what he could be doing when you take your eyes off him. Shouldn’t he be confined to the brig? Or at least his quarters?”
“He’s not a damn criminal.”
“All the same, we’ve discussed certain…possibilities about Chekov’s condition that I don’t wish to repeat at this time. I recommend you show a little caution.”
Pasha backed away from Trenach’s glare. “I’m sorry,” he said hastily. He didn’t know who this man was, but he seemed to have some authority over McCoy, and perhaps even the captain. He hadn’t intended to cause his master trouble.
“Chekov’s as good as a member of my crew,” Kirk broke in. “He goes where Bones says he goes. But that said, I don’t think he needs to see this briefing. Chekov, go to the mess or your cabin or the rec room or wherever your damn well please.”
“Captain, I must advise--.”
“I really wouldn’t antagonize McCoy when he’s in range of an unlimited supply of hyposprays. Let’s go up to the briefing room.”
“Of course.” He looked back at Pasha. “I’d like a word with you, Chekov. Soon.”
--
Sequel Information
Yes, there's already a sequel in the works for this bad boy. It's coming in January 2010
Though My Soul May Set in Darkness, It Will Rise in Perfect Light
The path has reached a new turning point for McCoy and Chekov. Though Chekov's memories have returned, he is still dealing with the aftermath of his captivity. The Enterprise has not abandoned their mission to capture the slavers who held him prisoner, and Chekov is in a unique position to help with said mission. However, McCoy objects to Chekov's scheme, and he may need a little convincing to agree to his part in the plan.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 03:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 03:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 05:39 pm (UTC)Also ... YAY FOR SEQUEL YAYAYAYA
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 03:22 am (UTC)I absolutely loved this!
Date: 2009-11-12 12:11 am (UTC)Thank you, thank you, for all the time it must have taken you to spin all the plot intricacies into one amazing story. I couldn't believe I was reading fanfic and not a published work! Extra thank you for putting McCoy & Chekov together.
Lastly, I'm quite happy to hear there's a sequel coming. Am very interested to reading about Chekov's schemes.
Re: I absolutely loved this!
Date: 2009-11-16 03:25 am (UTC)I couldn't believe I was reading fanfic and not a published work!
Aw shucks. Credit goes to my betas for that, who were also pushing me to do better and make sure things all fit together smoothly.
The sequel should start coming out in January. Chekov is one smart cookie, so he's got lots of schemes. Just you wait!
Thanks again for reading and commenting! I really appreciate your feedback.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 06:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 01:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-30 06:30 am (UTC)Renee
no subject
Date: 2010-01-03 05:45 am (UTC)Though my soul may set in darkness...
Date: 2010-03-22 02:44 am (UTC)Your characterizations were excellent and thoroughly believable. I've always had mixed feelings on whether or not Pavel's accent is written into the story, but I think it worked well in this one to leave it out. It's also good for the reader I think because it's just one more thing to help immerse themselves in while reading, as they can internally add it or not. Also, and I imagine this sounds totally ridiculous, but I think this story has given me some insight to some philosophical questions and issues I've been having lately. They've been mostly about cloning and the like, but issues like slavery and blocked memories for the sake of self-preservation have appeared several times as well.
I'm glad Chekov wasn't just a helpless child in the story, but he took an active role as it progressed. Being the incredible Russian genius that he is, it would make sense that he makes the final decision to attempt getting his old self back. Random end-note: I'm going to try to bid on the thing for RAINN, so if on the off chance I win does that mean I get to force the sequel? I mean, I know you're already working on it and about a billion other things, but extra motivation never hurt, right? :-)
Re: Though my soul may set in darkness...
Date: 2010-03-22 03:21 am (UTC)Re: Though my soul may set in darkness...
Date: 2010-03-29 02:30 am (UTC)I'm glad the accent worked for you. As someone who works with Russian dialect fairly often, I find it a dicey prospect to try to phonetically represent a character's way of speaking. Personally, I get cringe-y when things are written out in ways that don't jive with my perception of what the Russian accent should be. But I'm just super-picky! So I solve that problem by just trusting that the reader knows what he sounds like. Heh.
I'm also happy you liked Chekov's initiative. I knew going into this story that I didn't want him to be a helpless victim. For all that he's young, he's got a lot of courage and brains, or he wouldn't be on the Enterprise, y'know? It was important to me that he not just sit back and wait to be rescued.
I also LOVE to use the Trek ensemble, and actually wished I was able to use more of them here. Things were just getting so sprawly, I had to cut a few planned scenes with other characters. Ah well!
As for the sequel, yes, it's really going to happen. I have plans and an outline for it. I can't say I'll write the sequel if you win me at
Anyway, thanks again for reading and taking the time to leave feedback!